So, I'm about a week in with my new Pathfinder. I've been through the carwash twice and no issue. Are you pushing the "side" button on the shifter in when going to neutral? I believe that is the key. And then, at the end of the carwash, put your foot on the brake and shift down to drive (I don't think you have to hit the side button then). Same tricky thing with neutral in my '21 Hyundai Palisade with push-button shifting.