Hi
@Deanna - good question! I am sorry to hear this happened to you - pretty frightening stuff!
When I pull up to the car wash, I put the car in park and then stand there and watch the attendant as he connecst the drivers seat belt, drive the car up to the 'feed' point, put the car in NEUTRAL, and then exit the car.
When the car comes out of the car wash, I walk over (while the guys start drying the car, etc), and shut the car off. (They always leave the car running and put the car in PARK).
When they are all finished, I get into the car, readjust the seats and mirrors (they always seem to move them), start the car (release the brake, deactivate the START/STOP feature (my normal routine), and then pull away. I have not had an issue at all.
Do you think this might work for you?